04 November 2004

Someone once told me, in all earnestness, that you must play an instrument before you are able to fully appreciate music. I was crushed to the point of tears and well beyond words, for you see I somehow believe that this is so. I do not play any instruments, how am I to know for certain this is not true? Now, as I sit and listen to liquid beauty pouring over and filling me, these words rise to the surface and I wonder what it is that I am not hearing, what I am missing. Painful bewilderment seeks to overcome the beauty and the pleasure of the music. I feel the tears behind my eyes, pricking with almost as much pain as that in my heart. How could it be possible that I am not receiving all the music has to offer? Perhaps my capacity really is limited in some way... This beauty is too great not to be desired, sought, consumed... It pains me to think, to know, that there is some aspect of this beauty that I cannot receive...

1 comment:

Kitty said...

I'm so sorry that you were told something like that, even in all earnestness. That person did you a great disservice. I play over 20 different kinds of instruments. I also sing, not the soloist type, but I can carry a tune and read music. My husband has never played an instrument and trys to sing, but doesn't read music. Both of us love music. Sometimes we are both moved to the point of tears by a particular piece. I don't feel that my husband is missing out on any of the beauty of the music because we both seem to feel the same emotions when we hear certain types of music and sometimes he is more moved than I am.
Perhaps, as a musician, I know more technically about what I'm listening to, but knowing what a particular instrument is or a particular intonation is, doesn't increase my joy of music.
The joy of music comes in the way it moves your heart and soul. As you write of "the liquid beauty pouring over and filling you", I can't help but feel that you ARE receiving the whole of what music offers to all of us, regardless of the ability to play an instrument. An instrument can only play what the musician gives it. An unemotional rendering of what should be an emotional piece can not move anyone.
Hold fast to your love of music and appreciate that you can hear and be moved by the beauty of what the composer wrote. That is a gift to you from Our Father.
God Bless, Kitty